Tag: starbucks

PSA – The Dangers of DHMO

I usually reserve this space for amusing anecdotes about my life or nifty little nuggets of trivia that I’ve come across, but this is serious stuff and needs to be disseminated to anyone who can read so they can be forewarned about the dangers of DHMO.

Dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) can act as both (either) an acid or a base – it is amphiprotic. It can be found in solid, liquid, and gaseous forms.  Its pH is 7, higher than any other acid known to man. It is both tasteless and odorless.

Extensive research has shown that water bottles stored on grocery store shelves for more than a month contain extremely high levels of DHMO. This applies to both plastic and glass bottles.

Starbucks (as well as most all coffee shops) use thermally agitated dihydrogen monoxide in all of its coffee-based beverages. DHMO is known to cause severe burns when it comes in contact with the skin, and once DHMO comes into contact with skin, it cannot be washed off.

Large U.S. manufacturers routinely dump vast quantities of DHMO in our lakes, rivers and streams – and it never biodegrades.  Research has shown that dihydrogen monoxide is deliberately sprayed on organic crops in the U.S.

Scariest of all for parents: If you give your children juice boxes, you should know that each juice box contains more dihydrogen monoxide than an ounce of methamphetamine.

Breathing in too much DHMO can lead to certain death. In fact, the sad truth is that 100% of people who come in contact with dihydrogen monoxide eventually die.

Please be sure to check all labels – don’t mistakenly ingest this dangerous compound, lest you meet a horrible fate! Dihydrogen monoxide is not to be trifled with. If you’re the political activist sort, please write your Congressperson and/or Representative and let them know that you fully support a ban on any products containing this harmful chemical.

It’s up to us to be the change in the world we want to see!

Immigrant Story

Have I told you about the time I was mistaken for an immigrant?

I was born and raised in the dustbowl of southern California. After graduating high school, I spent two years in the Bedfordshire, England, and three years in San Vito dei Normmani, Italy, before finally settling down in Denver, Colorado in 1988. I moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma in the December of 1993, and I’ve been here ever since, livin’ the life.

As I related in an earlier post, and for reasons I won’t go into here, I took it upon myself to learn to speak Spanish last year. During the spring and summer of 2018, every other sentence that came out of my mouth was en español. I visited taco trucks with my daughter at lunch – she happens to be fluent in Spanish – and attempted to order in my new language. I visited Mexican panaderías. I listened to Spanish-language radio. And most importantly (for this story, anyway), I changed my name on the Starbucks mobile app to Esteban, the Spanish form of my given name, Steven.

Because there are not a whole lot of Estebans that frequent my local Starbucks, all of the baristas got to know me in pretty short order. I was often greeted with, “Hi, Esteban!” or “Good morning, Esteban!” as if I were the Hispanic Norm Peterson, to which I’d reply, “¡Buen día, mi amigo! ¿Cómo estas?”

One particular morning, I arrived a little early after placing my mobile order, and the barista said, “Hey, Esteban! I’m just finishing up your order, it will be ready in just a minute.”

“¡Gracias, mi amigo!” I replied. We then proceeded to make small talk (in English, as he doesn’t speak Spanish) as he continued to prepare my drink.

As I reached across the bar for my finished coffee (venti almond milk latte with seven – seven! – pumps of peppermint, in case you’re looking to get me something for my birthday in April), a hand reached out and grabbed my arm. I turned to face the older woman who had stopped me from getting my life-sustaining bean juice.

“Do you mind if I tell you something?” she asked me.

Well, this is awkward I thought to myself. “Sure, please do!” I said, perhaps a little too energetically.

“I just want to tell you that your English is fantastic, Esteban! You are assimilating very well to your new country. Tell me – how long have you lived here?”

I was floored. Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me was horrified, and part of me was flattered that I’d been mistaken for being Hispanic.

Competing thoughts flooded my brain. Do I tell her the truth? Do I mock her somehow? Do I accept this little microaggression for what it was meant to be – a compliment?

In the end, I decided not to burst her bubble, to let her think she was being a good American citizen by welcoming a foreigner in to her midst.

“A few years, ma’am,” I responded, “and thank you for the compliment!”

“You’re very welcome, “she replied. “You’re doing a great job – have a nice day!”

“Gracias – ¡que tengas un buen dia!” I said to her as I grabbed my coffee and walked out of the shop.