I left my home
     the comfort and serenity
to find the happiness
          that had eluded me
     for so long

I looked high and low
          behind every nook
     and every cranny
to find the happiness
     that I craved

I traveled from town to town
          city to city
     country to country
to find the happiness
          that had evaded me
     for so long

and after I had exhausted
     every means at my
           disposal
     every opportunity
          that I thought
               might lead to 
          the answer
     I returned
home

only to find it there
          as I slumped into
     the couch
there between the cushions
          where it had fallen
     out of my pocket
the night before.

touching
 always tempting
  uplifting my soul
   never far from my
    inebriated heart
     appetite with no end

    magical moments
   ardently alluring
  ravishing and risque
 impish and irrepressive
ecstasy in the extreme

tender and thoughtful
 hauntingly heartfelt
  overflowing joie de vivre
   mischievously playful
    adorable and ageless
     seductively her

sometimes
when you're not here
I can still hear your voice
I can still see your face
I can't wait for your return

sometimes
when you're not here
I wonder when you'll return
I wonder why you had to go
I wander the halls alone

sometimes
when you're not here
I'm counting the minutes
     until your next text
I'm counting the hours
     which seem like days
I'm counting the days
     which seem like months
time crawls sometimes

I wander the halls of my mind
I wonder how you do it
I wonder when you'll do it again
when you're not here
always

I am anxious for your return
I miss your face
I long to hear your voice
when you're not here
always

and when you walk through
     my door
and wrap your arms around
     me
and your lips touch mine
I feel alive
again
always

thoughts
     ever present
     ever elusive
     never ending
     turn into

words
     often spoken
     often misunderstood
     never softened
     turn into

actions
     mindless, mindful
     without thought
     purposeless motion
     lead to

habits
     unconscious, blind
     too weak to notice
     too strong to break
     become your

character
     who you are
     who you are not
     who you aspire to be
     becomes your

destiny.