slow train comin’

Everything is so small this year
          intimate and compact
     subdued and somber
               softened and muted

unlike last year which in hindsight
          seems so overblown 
     alive and kicking, confidence
               awash with color and light

and what of the New Year
          uncertain and undetermined
     unsettled and unresolved
               all the world suspended

but in this moment of this year
          with the dogs playing on the carpet
     kids on their way over to open presents
               chill in the air and coffee brewing

it is all to easy to forget that
          it has always been this way
     the not-knowing, not-seeing
               the thrill of the unknown

but the anticipation is different this year
          the more things change
     the unbearable heaviness of
               the loss of faith in everything

gasping for air while breathing freely
          is the order of the day
     where the only solution that makes
               sense is to keep breathing

and like a slow train comin' 'round the bend
          we wait and we wonder exactly 
     what the future will hold, knowing full well
               that everything matters, and nothing does.