I’ve never been a proponent of “fake it ’til you make it,” but there is definitely something to be said for choosing to take a positive outlook on life.
There is a school of thought that would have you force yourself to be unflinchingly positive in the face of even the most dire of consequences. I’m sure we’ve all known people like this – the fake smile, the tireless (and tiring) upbeat behavior, the always-on friendliness. The problem with this sort of behavior is that it is completely and totally fake, inauthentic to the extreme.
Authenticity is a buzzword that gets thrown around a lot, but there really is much to be said in favor of the sort of grounded honesty that comes with addressing every situation with the gravitas that it requires. There is nothing wrong with admitting you’re “not feeling it” or that you’re not sure about a certain situation – it’s only human nature to be wary around new and different situations.
To barrel headlong into every situation with rose-colored glasses, vowing to only see the sunny side of everything, may make you feel temporarily better, but will do nothing to relieve long-term conflict and stress. In fact, that attitude will always work against you, leaving you feeling worse off than when you started, when you finally get to the breaking point of not being able to take it anymore.
However, there is a vast difference between this perpetual fake happiness and making the conscious choice to view everything through a positive filter. Where the former behavior will almost always lead you to missing certain salient points about a given situation because you’re operating with blinders on, the latter behavior allows you to implement the necessary framework to turn some of those negatives into positives.
Case-in-point: Losing a job will cause someone with “perpetual happiness disease” to enter into a state of denial about their situation, refusing to believe that there was anything amiss with their performance in the first place. If they’re just patient, something better is sure to come along. They wait and wait, to no avail. They often end up crashing, unable to maintain the forced high of always being “on.” They end up worse off than when they were before.
Take the person who is able to take the authentic-yet-positive perspective to heart and put them in the same position, however, and you’ll have a person who quickly realizes the severity of their situation and takes positive steps to mitigate the circumstances and resolve the situation as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Positive thinking is so much different than trying to always see “the sunny side of life.” Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Positive thinking, then, is a state of mind, the mental decision to see the good and favorable in everything, in every situation. It is the authentic assessment of what is going on paired with the determination to make the best choice for all involved.
My challenge to you is this: Spend one hour a day taking a positive outlook on every situation and person you encounter. Not the happy-go-lucky, take-what-comes-and-be-happy-with-it attitude that so many self-help gurus would have you adopt, but rather the genuine belief that there is a positive side to whatever situation you’re in, as long as you’re patient and focused enough to realize it.
I’d wager that you’ll soon find yourself expanding this practice to much longer sessions than that initial hour – you’ll find it to be such a useful tool that you won’t be able to help yourself, it will become second nature in very short order. I’m sure that, if given the chance, you’ll find your outlook on life to begin to mirror that confident outlook, and your relationship with everyone at work and home will improve and be the better for it.
In fact, I’m positive of it.